Best Little Christmas
It was just before my fourth birthday, I wasn't thinking of that, I was thinking of Christmas!
We were with Mr. & Mrs. Shaw, our foster home, we had been with this family for a short while, I am not sure how long, my sister was in school, and I was mostly at home with my foster mom. Mrs. Shaw, a retired school teacher, she & her husband took both of us in, not til later in life did I appreciate how precious that was. We were separated from our little sister she was in a loving home on the other side of the county. Not many homes could take 2 children, let alone 3.We had already had a temporary placement for a few weeks, they were not nice, I kept thinking my mom would come like she said, but no. We didn't see her.
Mrs. Shaw, always a teacher; when my sister and I were fighting and getting physical in our expression, it was she, mom Shaw, as my sister would call her, she said, "Why would you want to hurt your sister? you love her don't you?" EPIPHANY! No one had said that before, so, I don't hurt her because, I love her... this went deep, deeper in me than my sister, lol.
Mrs. Shaw... the first person I remember reading to me. I remember her reading a book to me for the second time and she was saying the same words with the pictures. I looked up at her and asked, "How are you doing that?" She looked at me quizzically and said, "Doing what?" I said, " "You said the same thing last time."
She said,"I'm reading the words?"
"What are Words?" I asked
She pointed to the letters and my eyes followed her fingertip and she said, "These letters are arranged together to make words, I am reading the words."
"I want to do that!" I exclaimed.
She squeezed me and said ok and she did, she taught me letters, upper and lower case, how to tie my shoes and let me help her bake. I was a dream student for her, so hungry, and she opened up so much for me, told me I was smart, and a good helper. I loved learning and she did so much with me.
We went to church with her and I was in the Sunday School choir. It was getting to be Christmas time and our class of little ones was singing "Away in a Manger" with hand motions.
As Christmas approached she asked me to help her make cookies, I measured and stirred and sampled. I had some specialties, rolling dough into balls and rolling long lines of dough that would be candy canes, if it was playdough related, I was the girl for the job! Everything looked and smelled so good.
Christmas eve! We were performing at church that night and my sister, me, and Mrs Shaw were headed to church.My foster father couldn't come, he didn't feel well and needed to rest. He had told us though that because Santa had an especially busy load this year he might be dropping by houses early and might come while we were gone. I ran into the "study" room of the little house and looking desperately about I found the camera. As quickly as I could, I gave him directions that he should use it if Santa came. I placed it on the coffee table next to him EXACTLY where his arm extended to and I was emphatic that he should quickly pick it up and shoot if he hears and "bustling" and desperately tried to emphasize that Santa was as 'quick as a twinkle' so he had to be extra fast. We had to go to the concert, I showed him again the motion and the quickness..."rest but DON'T fall asleep", I was adamant, I had the force and will of a strongly Santa believing almost 4 year old on my side. I kept telling him it wasn't funny and he kept smiling at me and told me he would do his best. In my heart I was sure he'd fall asleep but I hoped for the best.
It was a beautiful snowy evening when we arrived at a big stone church with our matching warm coats and white fluffy mufflers that were both warm and super pretty, furry. We walked up the steps and got ready to sing the songs we worked so hard on. Candi my older sister was in an older class. As I sang and did the motions, I was all in and wanted to convey the baby sleeping with a cradling motion and was singing with all my heart and looked around at people and my foster mom was smiling and gently laughing. In my already damaged little heart I thought she was laughing at me, and I stopped and put my head down. I was embarrassed and a little mad, mostly hurt. When we were done I was quiet and sulky, she gently asked me why I stopped singing, I told her because she was laughing at me. She squeezed my hand and said my singing made her so happy she couldn't keep it inside. I was beaming.
I was however preoccupied with other pressing matters. What if Santa came early? What if dad Shaw slept??? What if he did? Oh he probably did. We just need to get home.
We pulled into the garage and I ran into the house and mom Shaw caught me and slowed me down long enough to hastily take my coat and galoshes off... I'm off, and wait, now shoes. AHHH! I run to the living room and it happened, "he" had been there, the tree had a few lovely packages that looked so perfectly perfect and there was dad Shaw SLEEPING, I knew it! I woke him up and chastised him, "He was here!!!" I put both hands on my forehead and lifted them to the sky and reiterated his failure to get a picture, I showed him again that the camera was RIGHT there. Right there at the end of his fingers! I was so disappointed for it was unbelievable to me that he could miss this. He leaned forward and looked me in the eye and in all seriousness and very apologetically he said, "Kelly, he was just so fast and he was soooo quiet." I knew this was what I heard about Santa, sigh, oh well, maybe next time.
He winked at his wife.
She picked up the lead and told us they had a tradition of opening 1 gift on Christmas eve, a little one. We both chose a small box, it had a stretchy gold bracelet with a matching necklace with a sparkly heart shaped stone that was a birthstone, mine was garnet and Candi's was emerald. I thought that we were so fancy and wanted wear them immediately.
We were offered eggnog and a choice of two cookies of the ones I helped her bake, I specialized in the hand rolled out red and white shortbread candy canes, so of course I had one of those and I remembered they all looked so good and I helped make many of them. we had a special treat of eating on the TV trays which was reserved for Sunday nights and Lawrence Welk. We watched a special Christmas show with people singing as we sat by the pending presents and pretty little tree, happily wondering what other presents might be there and occasionally looking at the TV.
It was December 1967, a few weeks before my 4th birthday.
“It was the most magical Christmas of my little life, everything about it was Peaceful and Sweet.”
We were not able to stay with this family, at some point the following summer dad Shaw had a heart attack and they felt unable to keep us. My stay with them is such a treasured part of my life if only all parents provided such a safe and nurturing feeling as this.I feel truly blessed and thankful in every way to have been with them.